Attack of the Blocktopus

(Blocktopus: That’s “cock-blocking-octopus”. And by “cock” I mean “pen”. Obviously.)

octopus mechanicus~“Start a blog,” she said…

“It’ll be fun!” she said……to herself, without thinking it through.

Because oh my lordy! How many freaking blog topics there are to choose from! I mean sure, if someone says “Hey, write me a food blog”, or “Hey, do me a daily Tumblr on funny looking mammoths!”, then it’s ok because there’s something to focus on. But, give me free reign to write anything about anything? Dude, that’s just trouble in the making.

It’s like my brain explodes into this more-than-eight-legged ADHD squidling with an attention span shinier than a squirrel on crack. I wind up with the worst case of writer’s block–due to an overload of inspiration, rather than a lack of it–and the whole time I feel like I’ve got mental whiplash from the number of potential writing topics. Talk about your mental cases, eh?

And you’d think that making a grab bag of choices would be the simplest solution to the problem, right? Of course! But, no. Because the second I start to write a list of blog topics, the Blocktopus goes silent. Tentacled bastard.

This is the point where I revert to my old-school poetry days, and carry around a tiny notebook, into which gets scribbled any random, emo thing that pops into my head, Blocktopus or no, until I’ve got enough of a list to start with. It takes weeks, and the list is always terrible.

Lucky for me, I’m stubborn. And crafty. And eventually I will work through every one of my dumb starter list of topics until the ideas start flowing, and the Blocktopus realizes the ink cloud didn’t quite work the way it thought it would, and then you’ll see me sitting in front of my computer muttering things like “No, Ahab, I will not buy you a new spear gun! Go sit in your boat and be quiet!”

So for everyone out there suffering from their own version of Blocktopus Syndrome, keep on! You’ll know you’ve reached the “stubborn success” phase when you start yelling at mythical characters from books you’ve never actually read…

To everyone else? Enjoy the ride! It’s not every day you get inked by a mental, tentacled freak. ;D


Authorious Cephalopodus


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